Bipolar Disorder & Marriage

Is It Possible to Be Successful in Marriage with Bipolar Disorder?

Marriage is a journey filled with ups and downs, and when you add bipolar disorder into the mix, the path can feel even more challenging. Studies suggest that marriages where one partner has bipolar disorder face higher divorce rates—some reports estimate up to 90% of these marriages may end in divorce, though more research is needed to confirm exact figures.

However, this doesn’t mean a happy, lasting marriage is out of reach. Many couples facing bipolar disorder have built strong, supportive relationships by working together, seeking help, and never giving up hope. Remember: with understanding, teamwork, and the right strategies, success is possible.

For more guidance on bipolar disorder, check out our book and masterclass to reclaim control of your life. You can also check out our free resources.

Communicate Where You Are in Your Mental Health Journey

Open and honest communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, especially when navigating bipolar and marriage. Sharing how you’re feeling—whether you’re doing well or struggling—helps your partner understand what you need.

Be Specific: Use clear words like “anxious,” “irritable,” or “overwhelmed” to help your partner know what’s going on.
Check In Regularly: Make it a habit to check in about your mental health. Some couples use messages or notes to keep in touch throughout the day. We recommend a weekly 1-1, in-person check-in.
Create a Judgment-Free Zone: Both partners should feel safe to share their feelings without fear of blame or criticism.
Express Needs Clearly: If you need space, support, or just someone to listen, say so—and encourage your partner to do the same.

Draft an Emergency Plan Collaboratively

Every couple facing bipolar and marriage should have a plan for tough times. An emergency plan helps both partners know what to do if symptoms get worse or a crisis happens. Here is a template emergency plan to build upon with the following suggestions:

Identify Warning Signs: List the signs that show you might be heading into a manic or depressive episode, such as changes in sleep, spending, or mood.
Decide on Actions: Agree in advance on steps to take if those signs appear, like calling your doctor or reaching out to a trusted friend.
Assign Responsibilities: Decide who will do what during a crisis, such as handling phone calls or managing medications.
Keep Information Handy: Make sure you both know how to contact doctors, therapists, and emergency services. Keep a list of important phone numbers and medications in an easy-to-find place.
Review and Update: Revisit your plan regularly, especially after a crisis, to see what worked and what could be improved.

Learn About Bipolar Disorder Together

Understanding bipolar disorder as a team can make a big difference in how you handle bipolar and marriage.

Read and Research: Learn about bipolar disorder from reliable books and movies. Read articles, watch videos, or attend workshops together.
Join Support Groups: Support groups can help both people with bipolar and their partners. Sharing experiences with others can reduce feelings of isolation and offer new coping strategies.
Treat It as a Family Condition: Think of bipolar as something you face together, not just one person’s issue.
Ask Questions: Encourage your partner to ask questions about your experience with bipolar, and be open to answering honestly.

Prepare for Challenges Proactively

Bipolar and marriage come with unique hurdles, but being prepared can help you overcome them together.

Redefine Expectations: Life might look different than you imagined, and that’s okay. Flexibility is key.
Share Responsibilities: Both partners should share responsibility for the relationship and managing health.
Fight Fair: Disagreements are normal, but keep things respectful. Avoid bringing up past arguments, and take breaks if emotions run high. Here is a useful article on why mood imbalances lead to hurtful things being said.
Practice Self-Care: Both partners need to look after their own well-being to prevent burnout and resentment.
Seek Professional Help: Marriage counseling or therapy can help you develop better communication skills and coping strategies.

Preventing Infidelity and Porn Consumption During Mania and Depression

There is a need to make special mention of infidelity as this is a common culprit for relationships falling into trouble.

Manic episodes can bring impulsivity and hyper-sexuality, increasing the risk of infidelity and compulsive behaviors like excessive porn use. Depressive episodes may also lead to these behaviors as a way to escape emotional pain. Here’s how to protect your relationship:

Open Communication: Talk about boundaries, temptations, and how mania or depression can affect behavior. Be honest about struggles and triggers.
Set Clear Boundaries: Agree on what is and isn’t acceptable during episodes. Make plans for what to do if urges arise, such as reaching out to your partner or therapist.
Manage Triggers: Identify situations or feelings that make risky behaviors more likely and develop strategies to avoid or cope with them.
Stay in Treatment: Consistent medication and therapy can reduce impulsivity and risky behaviors.
Use Technology Wisely: Consider using filters or accountability software to limit access to pornography during vulnerable times.
Support Each Other: Remember, you’re a team. If a slip happens, address it together with compassion and seek professional support if needed.

Final Thoughts

Bipolar and marriage can be a challenging combination, but with open communication, careful planning, shared learning, and preparation for challenges—including managing risks like infidelity and compulsive behaviors—couples can build a strong and loving partnership.

Marriage can be one of life’s true gifts and a source of healing for people with bipolar disorder. Remember, you’re not alone. Many couples have found ways to thrive together, and you can, too. Keep reaching out, keep learning, and keep supporting each other every step of the way.

For more guidance on bipolar disorder, check out our book and masterclass to reclaim control of your life. You can also check out our free resources.