August 2024

Why Do People With Bipolar Disorder Sometimes Say Hurtful Things? “Where did that come from?!” This is a common expression I would hear during my recovery journey. Some small comment or noise would irritate me beyond control, and I would lose my temper and say hurtful things to the person who was unfortunate enough to be around me. Often it was a family member, and I would unearth disputes from the distant past, making them feel as if I had been harboring ill feelings for many years. So, if you are a husband thinking, “Why is my wife yelling at me” or thinking about someone else who unusually snapped at you, you should look at why it happened instead of jumping to conclusions.Let me begin by saying a lot is going on in situations like this. I mention in my book that both the person struggling with bipolar and the people in their life must proceed with a spirit of love and build healthy systems of communication. However, let me share with you from an insider’s perspective: for someone dealing with bipolar disorder, saying hurtful things is a lot more common than one might think.I begin with the position that after having your first manic or depressive episode, you stay unstable for some time. A person regains balance but can easily be tipped over. They can vacillate between two extremes constantly and can even experience both states at the same time! The cumbersome task of managing oneself with a new range of emotions as well as becoming really sensitive feels like one is learning how to operate in a brand-new world. I would explain to people that just like the world is new and scary for a child it was like that for me too. For that reason, I would ask people to grant me some space as “I learn how to walk again.” But what exactly imbalances a person with a bipolar diagnosis? Sleep Deprivation Insomnia is a salient characteristic of BPD. Think of how difficult your day is if you don’t get a good night’s rest. Now imagine not sleeping well for days, weeks, or even months in a row. Due to racing thoughts, feelings of euphoria, tense muscles, and other chronic symptoms, the person has immense difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, and getting rest even if they do fall asleep. This kind of sleep deprivation leads to crankiness and plays a huge part in irritability. Now imagine dealing with the demands of life with such little sleep. Answers to questions like bipolar people mean the hurtful things they say don’t count if sleep deprivation is a factor for an erratic mood. Pain Poor sleep can also cause pain around the shoulders, neck, and head. It also does not allow for the vital organs such as the liver to detox during the night, which can cause internal pain in the body. This pain can make someone irritable. What’s most frustrating is that no one can see that the person is in pain; therefore, when the person snaps and says something hurtful, it comes as a complete surprise. Poor Diet People with bipolar disorder often have issues with their gut health. This is driven by eating highly processed foods and poor hydration, which greatly affect one’s mood. Indigestion, heartburn, nausea, constipation, and diarrhea can occur as well as lethargy, anxiety, and dizziness. All of this can make a terrible recipe for emotional outbursts. Trauma When a person is going through mania and depression, the nature of the state is extreme sadness, fear, anxiety, paranoia, anger, and euphoria. Often these feelings are not connected to any incident or memory, so the person searches for deeper wounds to attach the intense feelings. This could be turned into a whole article but essentially the person unearths traumas from the past (which is good in the long run to identify and address). When a person is inwardly going through such turmoil, they can likely improperly snap at others in a desperate attempt to call for help. Isolation Because the experience of bipolar is so internal, it is difficult to understand what the person is going through. The person feels that nobody understands what they are going through, and then they become isolated and bitter because of it. In this state, when someone checks in on them, they may lash out with an emotional response. Shame Mania is often attributed to poor decision making and depression is often associated with not performing at one’s best. Both of these foster shame in the individual and lead to further feelings of isolation. If someone tries to encourage them to forgive themselves there is a likelihood to get an emotional response because of the overwhelming feelings of grief due to losing a job, relationship, or even reputation. You may hear things like, “I feel like I can never show my face in public again.” Conclusion The unifying thread for all of these reasons is pain. Hence, the adage, “hurt people hurt people,” becomes applicable with a slight modification: hurting people hurt people. The temporary agony and turmoil of mania, depression, and everything in between drags the person into a state of misery. The person experiencing the symptoms does not wish to hurt people, but the severity of the symptoms and the difficulty of navigating a new world leads to verbal and even physical abuse. As a consequence, the cycle of pain festers the wounds within, further isolates the person, and traps them in the manic-depressive cycle. One question that people need answers for is, how to tell a bipolar person they hurt you? But This is a topic for another blog post. I will conclude this blog with two pieces of advice on how to move forward. Firstly, the person with bipolar must take ownership of identifying their triggers and learning how to navigate the world again while the person on the other end should show patience instead of arguing with a bipolar person. BP Harmony’s

Our Bipolar Recovery Tips for Moms on Not Your Mama’s Podcast Great news! BP Harmony was invited to be a guest on the Not Your Mama’s Podcast, where we talked about ways to help kids with bipolar disorder. This podcast is a great resource for parents looking for advice and support. For more guidance on bipolar disorder, check out our book and masterclass to reclaim control of your life. You can also check out our free resources.  On this episode of the podcast, we shared important tips about managing bipolar disorder in children naturally. We covered four main areas: Better sleep habits: we explained why good sleep is super important for kids with bipolar disorder. We talked about ways to help children fall asleep easier and stay asleep longer. Eating healthy foods at the right time: We discussed how certain foods can affect mood and energy levels. We shared some easy meal ideas that can help balance emotions. Getting regular movement: We talked about how physical activity can help manage bipolar symptoms. We brainstormed fun ways to get kids moving every day. Building a strong support network: We explored how to create a team of people who can help your child. This includes family, friends, teachers, and doctors. If you’re a parent looking for natural ways to help your child manage bipolar disorder, you should definitely listen to this episode. The podcast covers helpful information that can make a big difference in your child’s life. What’s great about this podcast is that it’s easy to understand. You don’t need to be a doctor to follow along. The host asked great questions that many parents probably have about bipolar disorder in kids. I also shared some of my own experiences and stories from other families I’ve worked with. These real-life examples can help you feel less alone in your journey. Remember, managing bipolar disorder is a team effort. This podcast episode is just one tool to help you build your knowledge and confidence. Every child is different, so what works for one might not work for another. But with patience and the right support, you can help your child thrive. Thanks for being part of this caring community! Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Keep learning, keep trying, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-kg71Cp6IM